Local 58 Wiki

You Are On The Fastest Available Route is the third uploaded entry in the Local 58 video series (first uploaded on YouTube). The episode takes the form of dash cam footage that shows a night time driver being given increasingly strange instructions by their satellite navigation.


The episode begins with Local 58's early morning schedule, displaying a Midnight Movie at 12:05 AM and the Paid Programming slot at 1:55 AM. However, the Paid Programming text gets erased and someone's dash cam footage begins at 1:57.

The video starts out as a long night time drive through a city where the driver has just received instructions from the their GPS on where to progress thanks to their satellite navigation. The navigation confirms that the journey will take over two hours to reach the destination and that its instructions are the fastest available route.

As the footage progresses, the navigation's instructions begin to turn bizarre, instructing the driver to drive down a quarry utility road, a service causeway and then eventually to make a U-turn to head down a road that has been sealed off. By this point, the driver had been travelling for well over four hours.

After proceeding down an unnamed road in the middle of a forest, the navigation instructs the driver to come to a stop and turn off their headlights in 300 ft. The driver sits in the darkness for some time. Suddenly, a monstrous roar can be heard. The driver quickly flashes his headlights, briefly illuminating a strange bipedal creature in the distance. The footage cuts to the driver trying to escape as the navigation system informs them that their destination is behind them and is coming closer. Another roar can be heard, and the camera cuts to show the car has crashed. Flames can be seen, and the broken navigation poorly speaks "You have arrived" before a final roar is heard and the video cuts out to roll the credits.


  • The dash cam footage that makes up the episode begins at 1:57 AM, implying that it replaced the Paid Programming slot.
  • The crash and the camera being upside down signifies that the creature flipped the car over.
  • The creature's head looks similar to the second creature from Show For Children.
  • The creature that stalks the driver can be briefly seen when they turn back on their headlights the first time it roars, standing directly ahead in the trees.
    • There is a theory that this creature could have crash-landed from orbit.
  • There is a Merritt Parkway and North 38th Street in Connecticut, but they are four hours away from each other. Furthermore, both are forty minutes away from Route CN 114 N mentioned in the video (nine hours if the video is referring to West Virginia’s Route 114, the state where Local 58 is broadcasted).